A Parade of Penises
cloak-and-daikon:

penisparade:

cloak-and-daikon:

Once again Tumblr did NOT notify me that someone replied to me. I only saw this because I remembered I needed to follow you. God damn. 
I don’t have a bed, I have a matress on a bare cement floor. I’m poor, remember? 
I don’t know what is causing my involuntary jerking. I just know it happens when I lay down. Smoothies and most drinks which are not tea or soda make me violently ill. Esp if it has any sort of milk/icecream/yogurt/dairy anything in it. 

Tumblr is a fuckwad, dont worry about it.
You could still try putting something under the mattress, or getting some extra pillows, maybe… I don’t know if it would help at all, but on the chance, that it would, it might be worth a try? imo nothing is worse than being sick and miserable and not even being able to get some sleep.
Sounds like you’re lactose-intolerant… man, that is going to make everything harder, since milk products are usually all over an ulcer diet (because they have anti-acidic properties). :/ But I know there are dairy-free liquid nutrition drinks - I think there’s a no-dairy version of Resource that comes in orange and cranberry flavors? Which would probably taste okay mixed with orange soda, if the soda doesn’t aggravate your acid issues.
I know you don’t have the money, but, you really need to see a doctor, even if it means having some unpaid bills and creditors calling. All I can suggest is, the next time your symptoms gets really bad, go to the ER - call an ambulance if you have to - and get as many tests done as you can. The hospital HAS to give you treatment regardless of whether or not you can pay or prove low-income status, they cannot turn you away because you are poor. They will work with you to pay what you can, even if it’s $10/month or something like that. (Trust me on this, I don’t have insurance and a lot of the time I can just barely pay my bills every month, and I have an outstanding hospital bill of $30k because I had to have my gallbladder removed several years ago. That wasn’t even “necessary” surgery, since you can live with gallstones, but they did it anyway, even knowing I could not pay for it.)
I wish there was something more that I could do to help you. It really makes me sad knowing that I can’t do anything except talk at you, and, my suggestions may not even help. :/

I really don’t want to go back to the ER.
The first and last time I went due to this shit they just popped me with a shot, patted me on the butt, and sent me home. 
Also elevating the head of my mattress will hurt my back. I have to lay completely flat. orz

Sounds like you got one of the shitty doctors, or, you got them on a really busy day.
I wouldn’t usually reccommend lying to a doctor, but, in your situation, you may have to exaggerate your symptoms to make them see that it is a serious issue. When I found out that I had gallstones, at first they blew me off, and, it wasn’t until I got a migraine (from sitting in the waiting room for 5+ hours) and started vomitting, and then started to hyperventilate from the pain of passing another stone, that they realized something was actually wrong. Then they did bloodwork and an ultrasound and found out it was gallstones (and also told me I have iron deficiency anemia lol).
But yeah, if you tell them that you feel better and don’t keep insisting they do more, they will send you home or tell you to follow up with your regular doctor. If you’re going to use the ER to get a diagnosis, you really need to be stubborn and make them understand that you are in pain and it cannot wait. (Best way to do this is to go in when you’re in the middle of an attack, when the symptoms are at their worst and they can SEE that you are really sick.)

cloak-and-daikon:

penisparade:

cloak-and-daikon:

Once again Tumblr did NOT notify me that someone replied to me. I only saw this because I remembered I needed to follow you. God damn. 

I don’t have a bed, I have a matress on a bare cement floor. I’m poor, remember? 

I don’t know what is causing my involuntary jerking. I just know it happens when I lay down. Smoothies and most drinks which are not tea or soda make me violently ill. Esp if it has any sort of milk/icecream/yogurt/dairy anything in it. 

Tumblr is a fuckwad, dont worry about it.

You could still try putting something under the mattress, or getting some extra pillows, maybe… I don’t know if it would help at all, but on the chance, that it would, it might be worth a try? imo nothing is worse than being sick and miserable and not even being able to get some sleep.

Sounds like you’re lactose-intolerant… man, that is going to make everything harder, since milk products are usually all over an ulcer diet (because they have anti-acidic properties). :/ But I know there are dairy-free liquid nutrition drinks - I think there’s a no-dairy version of Resource that comes in orange and cranberry flavors? Which would probably taste okay mixed with orange soda, if the soda doesn’t aggravate your acid issues.

I know you don’t have the money, but, you really need to see a doctor, even if it means having some unpaid bills and creditors calling. All I can suggest is, the next time your symptoms gets really bad, go to the ER - call an ambulance if you have to - and get as many tests done as you can. The hospital HAS to give you treatment regardless of whether or not you can pay or prove low-income status, they cannot turn you away because you are poor. They will work with you to pay what you can, even if it’s $10/month or something like that. (Trust me on this, I don’t have insurance and a lot of the time I can just barely pay my bills every month, and I have an outstanding hospital bill of $30k because I had to have my gallbladder removed several years ago. That wasn’t even “necessary” surgery, since you can live with gallstones, but they did it anyway, even knowing I could not pay for it.)

I wish there was something more that I could do to help you. It really makes me sad knowing that I can’t do anything except talk at you, and, my suggestions may not even help. :/

I really don’t want to go back to the ER.

The first and last time I went due to this shit they just popped me with a shot, patted me on the butt, and sent me home. 

Also elevating the head of my mattress will hurt my back. I have to lay completely flat. orz

Sounds like you got one of the shitty doctors, or, you got them on a really busy day.

I wouldn’t usually reccommend lying to a doctor, but, in your situation, you may have to exaggerate your symptoms to make them see that it is a serious issue. When I found out that I had gallstones, at first they blew me off, and, it wasn’t until I got a migraine (from sitting in the waiting room for 5+ hours) and started vomitting, and then started to hyperventilate from the pain of passing another stone, that they realized something was actually wrong. Then they did bloodwork and an ultrasound and found out it was gallstones (and also told me I have iron deficiency anemia lol).

But yeah, if you tell them that you feel better and don’t keep insisting they do more, they will send you home or tell you to follow up with your regular doctor. If you’re going to use the ER to get a diagnosis, you really need to be stubborn and make them understand that you are in pain and it cannot wait. (Best way to do this is to go in when you’re in the middle of an attack, when the symptoms are at their worst and they can SEE that you are really sick.)

angellust155:

lovelymetalhead3:

taemanaku:

This was so hard for me to color because of all the contrast, so I’m not sure how well it turned out. :/
But anyway. This is supposed to be Yami Bakura right after he loses the duel to Yami Marik, and he’s being consumed by the blast from the Winged Dragon of Ra. That part of the anime when you see his form disappearing has always been such a strong moment to me. Bakura’s expression right then sums up his whole character. The drive, the persistence, the will. He’s not giving up, even in a moment of defeat.

Oh you finished it! It turned out beautifully!

Epic <3

Hey, I remember this series! This fanart is awesome, I love the color contrast and his serious determined expression.

angellust155:

lovelymetalhead3:

taemanaku:

This was so hard for me to color because of all the contrast, so I’m not sure how well it turned out. :/

But anyway. This is supposed to be Yami Bakura right after he loses the duel to Yami Marik, and he’s being consumed by the blast from the Winged Dragon of Ra. That part of the anime when you see his form disappearing has always been such a strong moment to me. Bakura’s expression right then sums up his whole character. The drive, the persistence, the will. He’s not giving up, even in a moment of defeat.

Oh you finished it! It turned out beautifully!

Epic <3

Hey, I remember this series! This fanart is awesome, I love the color contrast and his serious determined expression.

kisses-like-whiskey:

adrimnzr:

tdrloid:

Under the Booty

“Ms. New Booty” vs. “Under the Sea”

Download

WHAT THE FUCK

OMG. YES. :| THey need to place this up in the club.

Such a moving melody.

cloak-and-daikon:

Once again Tumblr did NOT notify me that someone replied to me. I only saw this because I remembered I needed to follow you. God damn. 
I don’t have a bed, I have a matress on a bare cement floor. I’m poor, remember? 
I don’t know what is causing my involuntary jerking. I just know it happens when I lay down. Smoothies and most drinks which are not tea or soda make me violently ill. Esp if it has any sort of milk/icecream/yogurt/dairy anything in it. 

Tumblr is a fuckwad, dont worry about it.
You could still try putting something under the mattress, or getting some extra pillows, maybe&#8230; I don&#8217;t know if it would help at all, but on the chance, that it would, it might be worth a try? imo nothing is worse than being sick and miserable and not even being able to get some sleep.
Sounds like you&#8217;re lactose-intolerant&#8230; man, that is going to make everything harder, since milk products are usually all over an ulcer diet (because they have anti-acidic properties). :/ But I know there are dairy-free liquid nutrition drinks - I think there&#8217;s a no-dairy version of Resource that comes in orange and cranberry flavors? Which would probably taste okay mixed with orange soda, if the soda doesn&#8217;t aggravate your acid issues.
I know you don&#8217;t have the money, but, you really need to see a doctor, even if it means having some unpaid bills and creditors calling. All I can suggest is, the next time your symptoms gets really bad, go to the ER - call an ambulance if you have to - and get as many tests done as you can. The hospital HAS to give you treatment regardless of whether or not you can pay or prove low-income status, they cannot turn you away because you are poor. They will work with you to pay what you can, even if it&#8217;s $10/month or something like that. (Trust me on this, I don&#8217;t have insurance and a lot of the time I can just barely pay my bills every month, and I have an outstanding hospital bill of $30k because I had to have my gallbladder removed several years ago. That wasn&#8217;t even &#8220;necessary&#8221; surgery, since you can live with gallstones, but they did it anyway, even knowing I could not pay for it.)
I wish there was something more that I could do to help you. It really makes me sad knowing that I can&#8217;t do anything except talk at you, and, my suggestions may not even help. :/

cloak-and-daikon:

Once again Tumblr did NOT notify me that someone replied to me. I only saw this because I remembered I needed to follow you. God damn. 

I don’t have a bed, I have a matress on a bare cement floor. I’m poor, remember? 

I don’t know what is causing my involuntary jerking. I just know it happens when I lay down. Smoothies and most drinks which are not tea or soda make me violently ill. Esp if it has any sort of milk/icecream/yogurt/dairy anything in it. 

Tumblr is a fuckwad, dont worry about it.

You could still try putting something under the mattress, or getting some extra pillows, maybe… I don’t know if it would help at all, but on the chance, that it would, it might be worth a try? imo nothing is worse than being sick and miserable and not even being able to get some sleep.

Sounds like you’re lactose-intolerant… man, that is going to make everything harder, since milk products are usually all over an ulcer diet (because they have anti-acidic properties). :/ But I know there are dairy-free liquid nutrition drinks - I think there’s a no-dairy version of Resource that comes in orange and cranberry flavors? Which would probably taste okay mixed with orange soda, if the soda doesn’t aggravate your acid issues.

I know you don’t have the money, but, you really need to see a doctor, even if it means having some unpaid bills and creditors calling. All I can suggest is, the next time your symptoms gets really bad, go to the ER - call an ambulance if you have to - and get as many tests done as you can. The hospital HAS to give you treatment regardless of whether or not you can pay or prove low-income status, they cannot turn you away because you are poor. They will work with you to pay what you can, even if it’s $10/month or something like that. (Trust me on this, I don’t have insurance and a lot of the time I can just barely pay my bills every month, and I have an outstanding hospital bill of $30k because I had to have my gallbladder removed several years ago. That wasn’t even “necessary” surgery, since you can live with gallstones, but they did it anyway, even knowing I could not pay for it.)

I wish there was something more that I could do to help you. It really makes me sad knowing that I can’t do anything except talk at you, and, my suggestions may not even help. :/

Kohmi Hirose - Promise
30 plays

cloak-and-daikon:

homodyne:

cantaloupes-:

promise - kohmi hirose

GET DOWN YURERU MAWARU FURERU SETUSUNAIIII KIMOCHIII

FUTARI DE ISSHO NI NEMURU WINTER LAAAAAAAAAAND

ANATA DAKE MITSUMETE WATASHI DAKE MITSUMETE 

ASHITA WOOOOOO

CHI

KA

U

Well fuck, just when I thought I was done, having that song stuck in my head. XD

Submitting as princesoftheworld
cloak-and-daikon:

They say there’s alot you can tell about someone and how they are feeling by looking at them… This is me, and, this is how I feel today.
I don’t feel like putting on eyeliner
I don’t feel like styling my hair
I’ve run my finger down my throat at least five times this morning and I am not trying to get thinner than I already am, but if I didn’t do it I would start having seizures from my stomach rejecting the food.
I’m tired
I’m so tired
I have been only getting an hour or two of sleep at a time at intervals which take 20-40 minutes to get back to sleep, and a grand total of 6 hours laying in bed before my back hurts too much for me to lay down anymore.
I am in constant physical pain and there is nothing anyone can do for me when I am not an inpatient in a hospital receiving pain killer through an IV
OTC meds do not help me at all
I am very frustrated with my life
I have cut for several years, I have tried to take my own life, I wish I would stop waking up.
Every day that I wake up, I have a panic attack
Why?
Because I exist
When I remember I exist, I panic
Because I don’t want to be here
I don’t want to be living here in my body which is falling apart
But that’s okay
I have a life expectancy of about three more years since I’m not receiving any medical care and cannot afford to.
I’m jobless, I have no friends, my family hates me.
I’m a highschool dropout, not because I’m stupid, but because I was too sick to go.
My family doesn’t believe that mental illnesses are debilitating, or that someone as young as me can be chronically ill. They think I am just making excuses to be lazy.
Everyone I come to trust betrays me, on an epic scale. 
I don’t know how to trust people.
Even when I say I do I don’t.
I think the biggest and only lies I tell are “I’m okay” or “I trust you”. 
I just don’t want to hurt people more than I already do.
I’m so lonely… I’m so fucking alone
I’m tired of living
My strongest desire is to just
Go to sleep and not wake up…
Everything is so pointless
Everything is so fucking pointless


*hugs so much*
Do you have, any idea, what causes you to have seizures when your stomach is full? I don&#8217;t know of any medical condition, that would cause that&#8230; because there&#8217;s no link between the stomach and, the process of a seizure, which as I understand it is a misfire in the brain&#8230; But that seems like something you should go to the ER for (and ER&#8217;s usually have low-income assistance or payment plans if you don&#8217;t have insurance).
If it&#8217;s a stomach acid issue at its core, though, (and I understand you have an ulcer) have you tried elevating your bed at all? You can put something under the bed itself, or between the matress and the frame, or, you can prop yourself up with pillows. That&#8217;s supposed to help with acid reflux and maybe it could help you get a little more sleep.
Maybe you could also try to take sips of a liquid nutrition drink, like Ensure, throughout the day to help keep your strength up without filling your stomach. I&#8217;ve never used Ensure myself, but, one of my relatives used to (he was a quadruplegic and had issues with passing solid food through his lower intestines, so he drank it when he felt too sick to eat much). You can also mix it with fruit or icecream to make a smoothie from it, or use the vanilla kind like milk in cereals, or tea.
I&#8217;m sorry life is so hard for you. I wish there was more, that I could do, besides give advice.

cloak-and-daikon:

They say there’s alot you can tell about someone and how they are feeling by looking at them… This is me, and, this is how I feel today.

I don’t feel like putting on eyeliner

I don’t feel like styling my hair

I’ve run my finger down my throat at least five times this morning and I am not trying to get thinner than I already am, but if I didn’t do it I would start having seizures from my stomach rejecting the food.

I’m tired

I’m so tired

I have been only getting an hour or two of sleep at a time at intervals which take 20-40 minutes to get back to sleep, and a grand total of 6 hours laying in bed before my back hurts too much for me to lay down anymore.

I am in constant physical pain and there is nothing anyone can do for me when I am not an inpatient in a hospital receiving pain killer through an IV

OTC meds do not help me at all

I am very frustrated with my life

I have cut for several years, I have tried to take my own life, I wish I would stop waking up.

Every day that I wake up, I have a panic attack

Why?

Because I exist

When I remember I exist, I panic

Because I don’t want to be here

I don’t want to be living here in my body which is falling apart

But that’s okay

I have a life expectancy of about three more years since I’m not receiving any medical care and cannot afford to.

I’m jobless, I have no friends, my family hates me.

I’m a highschool dropout, not because I’m stupid, but because I was too sick to go.

My family doesn’t believe that mental illnesses are debilitating, or that someone as young as me can be chronically ill. They think I am just making excuses to be lazy.

Everyone I come to trust betrays me, on an epic scale. 

I don’t know how to trust people.

Even when I say I do I don’t.

I think the biggest and only lies I tell are “I’m okay” or “I trust you”. 

I just don’t want to hurt people more than I already do.

I’m so lonely… I’m so fucking alone

I’m tired of living

My strongest desire is to just

Go to sleep and not wake up…

Everything is so pointless

Everything is so fucking pointless

*hugs so much*

Do you have, any idea, what causes you to have seizures when your stomach is full? I don’t know of any medical condition, that would cause that… because there’s no link between the stomach and, the process of a seizure, which as I understand it is a misfire in the brain… But that seems like something you should go to the ER for (and ER’s usually have low-income assistance or payment plans if you don’t have insurance).

If it’s a stomach acid issue at its core, though, (and I understand you have an ulcer) have you tried elevating your bed at all? You can put something under the bed itself, or between the matress and the frame, or, you can prop yourself up with pillows. That’s supposed to help with acid reflux and maybe it could help you get a little more sleep.

Maybe you could also try to take sips of a liquid nutrition drink, like Ensure, throughout the day to help keep your strength up without filling your stomach. I’ve never used Ensure myself, but, one of my relatives used to (he was a quadruplegic and had issues with passing solid food through his lower intestines, so he drank it when he felt too sick to eat much). You can also mix it with fruit or icecream to make a smoothie from it, or use the vanilla kind like milk in cereals, or tea.

I’m sorry life is so hard for you. I wish there was more, that I could do, besides give advice.

lol why am I even up this early when I dont even have work today. Force of habit or some thing I guess.

Note To Self: Next time you are on here, self, write some fandom essays, or, some character headcanons. It is too damn early right now though.

Doodle. :)

cloak-and-daikon:

penisparade:

For cloak-and-daikon!

And, let me preface this by saying that I’m not in the Homestuck fandom, and I drew this character from a combination of memory and cloak-and-daikon’s AU RP version. I hope I got it right, lol. Oh, and my camera sucks, so its kinda blurry.

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Fucking hell that is adorable. He wears pink so well~ 

Glad you like it, I’m not so great an artist, but I hope it cheered you up a lil bit. :)

crimsonkappa:

pleatedjeans:

via

I NEED THIS CAT

Doodle. :)

For cloak-and-daikon!

And, let me preface this by saying that I’m not in the Homestuck fandom, and I drew this character from a combination of memory and cloak-and-daikon’s AU RP version. I hope I got it right, lol. Oh, and my camera sucks, so its kinda blurry.

Read More

That typo (&#8220;ghost&#8221; instead of &#8220;ghosts&#8221;) is going to annoy the fuck out of me, lol, but I am reblogging this anyway.

That typo (“ghost” instead of “ghosts”) is going to annoy the fuck out of me, lol, but I am reblogging this anyway.

So Im laying down trying to sleep and my body is doing that fucking jerky thing again

cloak-and-daikon:

im not nauseous but every 30-60 seconds my body jerks violently and startles me awake 

That happens to me, sometimes, too, but usually only when I’m physically exhausted, just absolutely running on fumes.

Also when I went to tag this with your url I almost typo’d it as “cloaca-and-daikon,” lol.